A Liberated Life
The first shift I observed in my human existence after the moment of Awakening was recognizing my body’s physical and mental activity from the vantage point of an observer. No longer was I defined as “that is my body, those are its thoughts,” or “I am the one doing that action.” My body had become “This body,” the thoughts had become “Its thoughts.” “I” was now perceiving in “third person,” being regarded by a witness who had no personal investment in what was being observed. The instant liberation from that illusion was amazing. I noticed that the thoughts which came and went in my head were about that body’s past and future — not its present. The AWARENESS that observed these thoughts was judgment free, merely a reporter of mental activity. The customary “Me” in this situation was non-existent, the “I” as an identity, had disappeared.
The moment of my Awakening was an odd scenario, different from all moments that had preceded it. There was this body, it had thoughts, those thoughts belonged to the persona called Aru-Na, but not to the unlimited consciousness that animates it. What was different from before was that in some previous instance I could no longer recall, the grip of that personal identity had been erased.
The advisement of Papaji, my teacher, who had catalyzed my Awakening, initiated an indispensable new routine in my life. He said: “Be Quiet!” The “newly unveiled witness” observed thoughts that appeared from nowhere and returned to nowhere. Every time a new stream of thoughts arrived Self Inquiry questions were asked to the fictional thinker. In most cases the original thoughts ceased and all that remained in my head was empty space. This space was a temporary reprieve from the one sided dialog that customarily paraded through. This peaceful space, was empty of thoughts, but full of a new kind of energy and aliveness. What was this? Who or what was now present in this body?
Eventually, however, old familiar responses began to crowd back in. Now that I had been liberated why was this body’s behavior reverting to what it was before the Awakening? It was a steady flood of previous programming, the newly liberated observer realized. How much other programming was stored in this body’s memory banks? How could this programming, stored beneath the level of conscious awareness, be identified and deleted? One day the key for answering this question appeared . . . the Enneagram of personality.
This ingenious tool was thus brought into awareness to handle the indispensable step I call “deepening an Awakening.” When you experience and recognize the challenge of this hidden automatic programming, you’ll begin to see how precious a tool this Enneagram is.
Awakened Awareness expands when you learn how to nurture and make room for it.
